Pain | Do You Love These Words?

Her feet were getting soaked through her to thin shoes as she fumbled through her purse for her house key. God, give me this day some daily bread… Please. She finally got the door open and waved back at her dad who was watching her lovingly from his car. She poked her head into the kitchen only to see the tornado had been there today. Dishes , food, tea bags, and a plethora of paper towels were strewn about all over the counter. I don’t have the energy to clean her mess up again. She quietly turned the light off and trudged up the stairs to her kingdom. She’s been here too. Must she always leave a mess? She picked up the seat cushion, put away some pens and paper, then pushed the chair into the desk. What was she doing on the computer? She flicked on the screen to see her mother had been online shopping yet again. She let out a loud sigh then put her head on the desk. The kitty jumped onto the desk to comfort it’s owner. “Thanks kitty.” She said with a bitter smile in her tone. “How on earth are we going to get out of this?”

Just then an ant crawled across the desk in hopes of finding food. She looked at it with indifference. For a while she contemplated whether she should smash it with her thumb or smear it into a tissue. She picked up a tissue and viciously ended it’s miserable, meaningless life. For a while she felt remorseful. Is it okay to treat such a harmless creature with such cruelty? Are more ants going to come now that I’ve killed one? Why am I even thinking about this? Ants are stupid! The ant was in my house, on my desk, isn’t that reason enough to kill it? She pondered and lectured herself over the enjoyment she felt in killing the creature. After a while she realized the time. “Kitty, how come you didn’t tell me it was so late?” She said as she looked up at the clock just as it turned 1:07 AM. “You think mom will come home tonight?” The cat meowed as if in response to the question but without an answer. “Yeah, that’s what I think too.”

She looked around her room. The books were scattered everywhere, and it gave her joy. Ever since the latest war books were being printed less and less. There was no more ink to print with or paper to print on. A chill ran down her spine as she thought of where her mother might be. She walked back down the stairs to be sure the door was locked. It was not locked…

She drew back after locking the door and pulled her revolver from her belt. Slowly she crept through the 2 rooms downstairs. She stumbled and crept as quietly as possible. Every step seemed noisy. Every thump of her heart, a scream. She had no need to breathe for it only made her louder. Step by step she climbed the seemingly enormous staircase till she reached the 27th step. She held her gun with a tight grip.

Inch by inch she approached her room.

Step by step she was closer to the partially open door.

She sucked in a breath and kicked the door open. The cat was the only creature living in her desolate room. She wished to check her mother’s room, but did not know the combination to open the door. There would be no intruder bothering her tonight. “Wasn’t that scary?” She asked her kitty in an attempt to feel at ease. The cat meowed in reply, but gave no answer. “I guess we’re lucky, aren’t we? There could have been an intruder.”

For the next half-hour she brushed her auburn-red hair. She wanted to wait for her mother to come home before she went to bed, but she knew her mother would never come home. Her mother was gone. A tear fell for her mother, but nothing more could be said or done. “Kitty. Mother will no longer be staying with us. She is with the Sweepers now.” The cat meowed in sorrow. “I know Kitty, but we must be strong. I will miss her, but at least we will have enough food rations.” Another meow. “I know…. I was just saying… Don’t be so judgmental. Jeez Kitty. You should be nice to me. I’m suffering.” Meoooow. She laughed and hugged the Kitty. Both of them were skinny and needed food desperately. She fell on the floor with Kitty in her arms and slept.

***

She woke up from her sleepless dream to stiff limbs and back. “Did I really spend all night on the floor?” She said to her cat. Kitty was comfortably curled up on the bed. “Well of course, you spent all night on the bed! You’re the smart on of the two.” A meow came from the cuddly kitten. “Do you want to hear about my dream?” The excited girl asked the cat as she moved to the bed. “Well I’ll tell you anyway. So I was in our house looking at mom’s door. All the sudden, but not suddenly, the door was far away and small. In started running toward it, but it kept moving to different places till it finally disappeared. I fell on the ground and began to cry hysterically. Then it appeared in normal size in front of me. It opened, and I walked in. Inside the room mom had piles and piles of food ration swipes lying around. I kicked the piles out of joy, but every time I kicked a pile, something came running out. Each time the thing running out was larger and more grotesque. When I came to the final pile, I cowered in fear. I did not want to see the final creature. The courage was finally summoned, and the pile was kicked. Lo and behold, out came a man… A man with a gun. He held it, but did not point it at me. I should have been scared of him, but instead I ran toward him, fell to my face, and kissed his feet. Then he kissed my forehead and hit me with hit gun…”

For a long time she paused. She made faces and questioned her own sanity. “What do you think it means kitty?” She said puzzled. The kitten purred and rolled on it’s side. No help was offered by the kitten. “Well alright… I guess you’ll be of no help at all. I will have to find out for myself. Maybe I’ll try to open mom’s door today. I bet I know where the combination is. Can you guess kitty? That’s right! Let’s go!” The cat took one look at it’s owner and decided to go along.

***

She walked down the stairs to the kitchen. She knew her mother kept a secret box in the back of the corner cabinet. Sneaking up on her mother once, she had spied her mother searching for it.

For around twenty minutes she searched in every cabinet for the box. At last she found the box under some old papers surrounded by mouse droppings. It was a rather boring box. The box was wooden and almost rotten away on one side. “Kitty why on earth would she hide something valuable in this?” She didn’t bother trying to unlatch it or pry it open. Rather, she just threw it on the ground in order to bust it. She cared not to preserve it. A key fell out along with a slip of paper and a few food ration swipes. The key, she put into the left boob pocket of her green jacket. The food ration swipes, she stuck on the messy counter. As for the piece of paper, she examined it all over before reading it. It said a few last words from her mother. The usual sweet words were left to the lonely daughter.

“My dear daughter, If you are reading this you’re either snooping where you shouldn’t be or you’re looking for food rations. If you’re snooping, put this back where you found it. I love you very much if I’m not here anymore. You know I love you more than the moon and the stars. You are my everything, I hope you have everything you need for the rest of your life. I always wanted the best for you. You remember when you were a kid and– Seriously mom? I just need the combination for your room.” She skimmed the rest of the letter till she found what she searched for. “The key is of no significance. I found it on the ground one day when I was working as a searcher of supplies. I always thought I could make a necklace out of it for you. Now you will definitely want to go into my room next to gather supplies before finding a new place of residence. The combination is up, down, side, side, yellow, 78, 81, 14, 25, 08, 66, 77, 10, 3, purple, II22. Once you get what you need, take the kitten and leave the house. Burn my room, but leave the reset of the house for anyone who wishes to stay here in the future. Leave 2 cans of peaches. Be sure to use cation when you leave. We both know what would happen if you were to get caught.” She stopped to shudder both for her sake and her mothers. “With love, your dearest mother.” Looking down at the cat gave her motivation to move. “Alright kitty, let’s get going.”

***

With the letter shoved in her pocket, she trudged back up the stairs. The combination was typed in, and the door began to creek. The sound of bolts and things scraping together made her more uneasy than she already was. She picked up her kitty and held it close. The door opened, and another door was in it’s place. This second door was of a light blue color that seemed holographic in every way except that it was not see through. Fearing it was some sort of electric field, she threw a dustball from the floor into it. The dust ball was zapped, and she stepped back. All the sudden a computer-y sounding voice came from the door. “Put your palm on the center dot to verify your identity.” It said in a disgustingly energetic tone. She stood for a while, pondering the consequences of both options. She decided to palm the door. When she did so, she felt a slight tingle, then a smooth, cool surface. Her hand felt as though it was submerged. When she looked up, the door was open.

The room smelled putrid. Something was rotting in a huge mound of mold immediately to her right upon entering the room. “Maybe that was a corner plant at one time kitty.” She said sarcastically. Surprisingly to her, the room began as a long hallway and had another door at it’s end. She walked the hallway. Since the door was not centered the slender hall felt slightly lopsided. She walked down the hall carrying her kitten close to her chest. A few moldy paintings hung on the wall. “They must have been priceless at one time. I like this one of a hot air balloon best. The one of the clown creeps me to death. The painter must have been absolutely insane. You agree with me, don’t you kitty?” At the end of the hall, the door was blood red with streaks of black and brown down the front. “Jeez mom, I knew you were a mess, but seriously with this? Has this hall ever been cleaned?” The cat meowed and struggled to get out of it’s owner’s arms. She set down the kitten with one arm and reached for the nob with the other. Realizing it was a push open door with a mock nob, she pushed the door open with her foot instead.

***

Inside the door were two more doors, one on the lift, one on the right. On the right door was the word lucundus and on the left, the word contendo. Instead of choosing one, she opened both at once, one with each hand. In the room on the right, to which her immediate attention was drawn, were a number of her mother’s things. She went in and grabbed a chain to put her new key on then left the rest untouched. In the room on the left sat a man. He was no ordinary man. He was silently sitting on a short stool in the corner opposite the door. “Hello,” he said without opening his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you since yesterday. Well I guess it’s been longer than that. I’ve been waiting here for you since yesterday. The waiting process in general which I have been going through has been quite a bit longer. I am Cleshon, and I have come for you.” He opened his eyes and watched her reaction. She displayed the usual response cycle all his girls underwent at first. “You understand that you are a woman, meaning you are of great value. In the city women are needed desperately to repopulate. Each woman is asked to pay her part in society by displaying her gratitude to the government.” She stiffened up. She knew what this meant. He was here to collect her. She was prepared to refuse, but instead replied, “By doing what?” He smiled in such a wicked manner that she began to dig her fingernails into the palm of her hand. He chuckled at the sight.

“My dear, you are an interesting child. I simply your humble neighborhood Sweeper. I am here to keep society moving at a decent rate. As you know, your mother was allowed to raise you and your brother for a time because she already had 2 children before she was to be swept. Unfortunately, she stopped bearing children when your brother died. She was allowed some time to grieve, and we thought she would produce more children, but she did not. She did not do her duty as a female citizen. Every woman is to have 5 children (or more) according to the law. If that mother is unable to produce 5 children with the man of her choice, she must be submitted to the government for processing. Your mother broke the law deary. Did you know that?” The girl looked into his eyes with much hatred, but her gaze was returned with interest. “Why do you tell me things I already know? I have no desire to recount the past. Tell me of my future. Will I be in the business of entertainment?” He smiled. “Well you are very entertaining. Now, Now, Don’t be cross. I am a Sweeper, not a judge. I am rather intrigued with you. I have not met many a girl with auburn-red hair like yours. I will give you a choice. You can take luck today.” She smiled. A choice… Is there such a thing as a choice? He beckoned her to sit on the stool he was previously sitting on. “Oh great Sweeper, what is my choice?” She joked.

“I will let you train. In exchange for your training–which I would head up for safety purposes– I will require a lock of hair. You will also be allowed a place in my house as my main attending slave.” She shuddered at the thought. “So basically you’re saying I can be a slave or…” She trailed so he finished for her, “Or you will be destroyed. For some entertainment is fun, but I do not believe you have any addictions yet. You are not suited for entertainment like your mother is.” She reached for her key which she had put on her neck. “How long have you waited for me exactly?” She asked. He took no time to think and responded with no hesitation, “6 years, forty-five days, sixteen hours, and thirty-two minutes. So I assume we have reached a conclusion?” She sighed as she reached for her kitty who had returned to her side. “Yes,” he continued, “You are allowed to bring you kitten, Salina.”

Do You Love These Words?

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